


A Little Show Among Friends

by tortoisegirl



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Strip Tease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-02
Updated: 2012-03-02
Packaged: 2017-10-31 23:53:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/349709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tortoisegirl/pseuds/tortoisegirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk and Jane talk about Jake, then Dirk lightens the mood by stripping for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Show Among Friends

**Author's Note:**

> Now featuring a completely jossed land! This was also written before we knew Dirk lived in the water apocalypse future, so there's a few details about that that are off.

The Land of Words and Thunder is surprisingly open and airy after a life in the city, a planet of thick trees and mountains of grey stone, and not at all what Dirk expected the game would come up with for him. The sky is full of roaming clouds casting patchy shadows on the ground, while the air is full of the low rumble of a thunderstorm about to break. He’s pleased to discover that the lines striating the surface of every stone and every treetrunk that, from a distance, look like natural weathering, turn out to be winding lines of words carved into the bark and the stone.

After a few hours of exploring it becomes a lonely planet, with no one around except the snake consorts that coil around tree branches and hiss cartoonishly when they talk. He’s delighted for the company when Jane falls feet first through her gate, skirt flaring around her as she lands.

"Don't bother with that," Dirk says when Jane once again stops to read a patch of text, tilting her head as it curves around the surface of a boulder. "One of the challenges of this planet must be to get goddamn anything done without wandering off to read the landscape. Half of it’s gibberish anyway."

"I wonder what the other half is, then."

She gets to do plenty of reading anyway when a side quest has them poring over a whole cave full of text, deducing the right words to chisel in the blank spaces and solve the puzzle. When it's solved and done they both plop down on the rocks outside the cave, grateful for the sunshine.

"I suppose we should talk,” Dirk says. He stares at the ground and reads and rereads the phrase between his feet, _-under the trees where the lizards and the-_. On a raised slab of rock behind him Jane idly traces the carved _t_ of the word _temple_ with her fingertip. “Get that elephant in the room nice and visible. Offer him some coffee and chitchat before we kick his ass to the curb."

He turns to look at her. "About Jake."

"You mean about, er, our romantic prospects."

"About how we're both lusting after the same plush rump."

Jane scuffs her foot against the ground. "I think I already blew my chances with him. Good news for you, I guess.”

"Well I sure ain't gonna break out the party balloons over that, even if it is the case. And I fully intend to maintain our friendship no matter what happens with English."

"I expect nothing less from you, Dirk."

He stares at her a moment but doesn't say anything. A snake peeks out from between two boulders and watches with wide eyes.

"I didn't know you were interested in him until Roxy told me," Jane says after a moment. "How do you plan on telling him?"

Dirk turns away to look over the landscape. "I had a few plans, but I'll admit Sburb is making compete shit of most of them. The game's a major wildcard at this point. It’ll likely be a matter of recognizing a good moment and improvising. Maybe we'll end up fighting monsters together and I'll say something while lookin' all rugged and bloodstained. Hell, maybe Jake's world will be the Land of Romantic Cliffs and Sunsets and all I'll have to do is show up and bust out my most heartfelt rhymes.” He flicks a pebble at the eavesdropping snake, which hisses and wiggles and disappears among the rocks. “And if all else fails I guess I'll sit him down and give him a good old fashioned striptease.”

Jane giggles at that. "If there's anyone who will appreciate something good and old fashioned, it's Jake."

Dirk sends another pebble skittering over the ground, then stands decisively and faces her. "I'm out of practice on that last option though."

“Practice…?” Jane scrunches up her face, then raises her eyebrows as his meaning dawns on her. "Practice on me? Does this have to do with those upper echelons of irony that always seem to escape me?”

"What's a little striptease between friends?" Dirk strikes an exaggerated pose, hands on hips and pelvis thrust out.

Her checks flush pink, but Jane grins at him. "You're not going to keep the sunglasses on, are you?"

"They're part of the look." He flicks a finger along the edge of those ridiculous pointy shades and says, "I’m sexier with them on."

"I'm not so sure about that. And what about your face? You're hardly going to win his heart if you keep up that pokerface."

Dirk tilts his chin up and adopts a pout straight out of the cheesiest skin mags. He switches it to a smirk, more like himself, and while Jane’s laughing grabs the hem of his shirt and starts teasing it up over his torso.

"Dirk!" Jane shrieks, and claps her hands over her eyes.

“You’re missing the show, Janey.”

When she peeks between her fingers Dirk is stripped to the waist and swinging the shirt from one hand, the other casually tucked into his pocket. She drops her hands from her face to catch the shirt he tosses at her with a dramatic swing of his arm.

Blushing red as a rose, Jane could not be laughing harder.

The half naked look suits him, she’s got to admit. The rest of the planet seems to agree as the clouds overhead break up, and the sunlight only does him good, highlighting the toning on his arms and casting shadows around his clavicle. He starts posing and flexing like a strongman; when he leans the right way Jane can see freckles on his shoulders, which delights her more than she can explain.

The rolling thunder and Jane’s constant giggles provide the soundtrack as Dirk sways his hips and runs his hands over his torso in between corny poses meant to flaunt his muscles. His belt soon gets unbuckled and slowly drawn off. Dirk takes a moment to pose with it slung casually over his shoulder, letting his jeans slip down his narrow hips a bit, then whips the belt dramatically against the ground.

Jane falls sideways with laughter, barely able to breathe.

“Okay, okay,” she says when his boxers - printed with patterned horse silhouettes - come into view. She sits up and holds up a hand signaling him to stop. Dirk concedes, and rezips and rebuttons his fly.

“For goodness sake, put your clothes back on.” Jane hands him his shirt and works on getting her breathing under control as he redresses. Her jaw aches from so much smiling.

He sits next to her once all clothing is properly in place again, also smiling. There are now half a dozen snakes staring at them from among the rocks.

“If I do lose out on Jake’s affections I’m glad it’s to someone with such extraordinary talents,” Jane says.

“And if my sick moves fail to impress him at least I have you and Roxy to appreciate them.”

“Oh yes. So much appreciation.”

The thunder rumbles overhead. Jane leans back on her hands and tilts her head to the sky. “It’s so strange hearing the constant thunder. I wish it would actually rain.”

“Maybe it will. Who knows.”

“Maybe.” She stands, brushes her hands on her skirt, and takes Dirk’s hands to pull him up after her. “But who cares about that. C’mon, we’ve got some more investigating to do.”


End file.
